The day he arrived... (Part 2)

Continued from here.....

After about 3-4 hours I was wheeled out from the OT, the anaesthetic started wearing off and I could finally feel the pain. Dr Lee mentioned that if needed I can ask for painkillers and the one that would work best would be the suppository type. As the pain was bearable, it was painful but not the end of the world kind of pain, so I decided to be a heroin and refused the painkillers. To be honest, I was more uncomfortable sleeping on the hospital bed than handling the pain from the wound. The hospital bed was so hard that I am sure I would end up with bed sores if I had to sleep an extra night. My buttocks and back were so sore that I have to move and change the pressure point every 30 mins but with the pain it was hard to move. And as I still had the drip on me plus the urine cathether, it was even harder.

I just lied there the entire night, only sitting up slightly assisted by the bed to breastfeed. I started breastfeeding the night itself. The nurse also offered me a glass of milo which I accepted happily. As it was a single bedded room, papa was allowed to sleep with me. He had to sleep on a reclining chair that squeaks a lot (ie very noisy). It didn't look at all comfortable but he will just have to make do. After the 11pm feed, papa went back home for a quick shower and returned about 2 hours later. During that time, the nurses came in to check on me every 15-30 mins, checking my blood pressure, heart beat and temperature. It was quite annoying honestly as I didn't really get to rest properly.

At about 3am the following day, the nurses stopped the drip but left the needle intact in my hand as I still need to be injected with antibiotics. I felt much better being able to move both my hands more freely now. Bun was also brought to me every 3-4 hours for feeds. I was able to feed him quite comfortably too.

The next morning around 6am, the nurses removed the urine cathether. You have no idea how relieved I was when it was removed. After a while I became worried. What if I needed to wee and I still can't walk? The nurses told me I will need to make an attempt to the toilet at least once before 12 noon otherwise they will need to put the urine cathether back in me.

At 8am they came back to give me a sponge bath and to change the sheets. After it was done they asked if I would like to try to sit on the chair. Papa was away for his breakfast. I braved myself and tried to sit up with the nurses' help. It was only 18 hrs after the surgery. I managed to sit on the bed but the moment they helped me up on my feet, the wound hurts so badly it felt like I was being ripped apart. I could make one small step using my left foot but not with my right. Immediately I could see blood dripping from down there onto the floor. The nurses said I must have stood up for too long and told me to get back on the bed. With a lot of pain, I got back onto the bed. My heart sank. I was constantly being reminded by nurses and doctors and friends that the sooner I walk, the faster I would heal. Imagine my disappointment when I could not walk.

Dr Lee came to check on me in the morning and I told him I could not walk as it was too painful. He prescribed me with some mild oral painkillers. The nurses came a few mins later with a little brown pill and 2 paracetamol. I took them hoping that it would help me walk faster. Dr Choy, Bun's paed also came to introduce himself and told me that Bun was doing very well and he was a healthy and heavy little baby.

Then around 12 noon the nurse came again to check if I have used the toilet. I told her I could not walk still and asked her if I could use the bed pan. She brought the bed pan and I cleared the bladder. It was about 800ml! The nurse then warned me that I cannot hold my bladder for so long as the fuller the bladder is, the harder it would be for the uterus to contract. Moreover, if the bladder is full it would hurt the uterus too. After relieving myself, I felt so much better. I was wondering if that was the reason why I could not walk in the morning... could it be because of the full bladder?

The rest of the day got by like usual, lots of nurses coming in and out for the routine checks, cleaners coming in to clean the room, breakfast, lunch and dinner being served. For the entire 3 days 2 nights I was there, I was given tasteless fish porridge for lunch and dinner. For breakfast I got 2 slices of bread with fish porridge for day 1 and 2 slices of bread with oats for day 2. Oh how I miss eating rice. I got milo 4x a day.

Around 5pm, after 5 hours of clearing my bladder, papa asked me to try and sit up again. This time it was just me and him. I held his neck tightly and he helped me up. I managed to sit down for a while and adjust to the pain. After about 10 mins, I was able to stand up and again had to remain standing for a while to adjust to the pain. I finally managed to walk a few small steps to sit on the chair next to the bed. I was so happy. Next mission is to walk to the toilet. As the nurses still needs to monitor my output 2 more times that day, I had to call them to help me to the toilet. Taking one small step at a time I was able to walk to the toilet and cleared my bladder. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

After the first time, the subsequent times of getting up from bed, walking and sitting became easier and less painful. I got up a few more times that night to just walk around the room unassisted. I was so happy as this would secure my discharge tomorrow!

The next morning Dr Lee dropped by to visit and asked if I was independent to walk around, use the toilet etc which I proudly replied yes. Then he told me I could go home today and advised me to continue taking the painkillers for 2 more days just in case.

At around 1pm on Wed, I was finally discharged and was able to walk all the way from my ward to the car park. I was so happy that I don't have to sleep on the hard bed anymore.

Meet my boy

Updates..

Our little boy is finally here.

Name: Zachary Yew
Weight: 3.84kg
DOB: 1st November 2010

Will follow up with the experience and his photos later :-)

Waiting....

I admitted into SDMC since 9.30am this morning. They shaved me, cleared my bowel, got me to fill up some forms and I am now waiting for the TIME. I think this waiting time is the most horrible in my life. Half of me is excited and the other half of me is nervous and not to mention I am hungry and thirsty. I kept staring at the clock! Dr Lee dropped by earlier to check on me and he told me that papa will not be allowed in the operating theatre, DAMN! I thought for once he could see it for himself what I have to go through, let him see how courageous I am and let him experience it all for the last time. Sigh... that is not going to happen again (the first time in Assunta and he was not allowed in as well) and I am so upset. Dr Lee said papa will get to see Bun in the recovery room and I will be wheeled out into the recovery room for about 45 mins after the surgery.

The most dreadful part of the entire process for me would be the insertion of the drip, the urine catherer and lastly the spinal anasthetic jab. Needles makes me weak. The nurses said these will happen in the OT itself. Although this was my 2nd c-sec, it was different the first time as I was wheeled in from the labour room into the OT and most of the preparation work was done in the labour room and everything happened so quickly.

I pray for courage and strength and a smooth delivery...

Out of order...

Tomorrow is finally THE DAY! After all the cleaning and washing and packing, I think I am done, I hope I am done and I didn't miss anything [OCD kicking in :-)].

I am not sure how soon I will be able to get back to blogging, to write or even to read your posts. But I promise to at least try to post up some updates and photos of Bun as soon as I can.

Don't miss me too much :-).

Bun's last check up

Saturday was Bun's last check up with Dr Lee. The next time we see Dr Lee, I will be on the operating table, naked and shivering (because of fear la) and with half of my body numbed and when it's all over I will have Bun in my arms and I will be in a lot of pain for days .... thinking of it alone is enough to cause me sleepness nights and I haven't been sleeping well in the past few nights because of the pain and because I could not find a comfortable spot - there is no comfortable spot!

I am officially off from work this week although I am still checking work emails occasionally in case my back up could not handle the 'shit' I left behind. I am trying to do a lot of last minute things such as cleaning, washing, packing, more cleaning, more washing and more packing. The weather hasn't been very co-operative, it's been raining everyday and my washing machine has been working non-stop. There seems to be no end in the things that I needed to wash and clean. I guess this is perfectly normal. I know I won't be able to clean and wash for at least a month or more so I am stressed out to get them all cleaned as much as I can now.

As of my last check up, I gained back 1 kg and current weight stands at 59.6kg. Dr Lee was delighted that I gained and he said everything is back to normal and I am ready for next Monday. Bun's head remained in the right position (ie bottom) but not engaged. Dr Lee said some babies especially 2nd pregnancies will only engage at the very last minute so it will be hard to tell if Bun will engage or not. Well, if Bun decides to come early, then we'll attempt natural based on the circumstances but if not, 1st Nov it will be.


We also managed to discuss about anasthetic with Dr Lee. Apparently there are 3 types - spinal, epidural and general anasthetic. I took the opportunity to ask him because for someone like me who has phobia towards needles, this is a BIG thing. I will even get weak knees when I had to go for my blood test and if the person drawing my blood is not skillful to do it quickly and at one go, I will faint, seriously.

Dr Lee explained that spinal is what most anasthetician would use for elective c-section, epidural injected in the empty space next to the spine is for natural birth and GA for elective c-section as well for those who would rather go to sleep during the surgery. Some anasthetician would use epidural for elective c-sec too. I had GA the first time and it was painless but the recovery was longer. I was groggy for a few hours and had to fast for 2 days and could not get down from bed for 2 days. I was told spinal would be painful when they jab into the spine but recovery would be faster. And since I am not planning for another child, I really wanted to build up enough courage to go through the surgery with a spinal jab. I wanted to see how or in this case hear how it was done. I just hope I won't chicken out at the last min.

Apart from worrying about which anasthetic to choose from and what have I not washed or cleaned, I am also constantly worried about the fact that in 4 more days I will have to manage 2 kids. Will I be able to do that? What will life be with 2 kids? How different will it be from now? I know many mothers have been through this and they survived and I will too, but I still can't stop myself from worrying and thinking too much. And you know what, we are going to put Hayley at the babysitter's for a few days when I am in the hospital and although that will only be happening in a few days, I am already feeling guilty and missing her like crazy even right now! Am I going insane or what????

The same guilt that I felt when I first found out I was pregnant that she will have to share my love with another sibling is back.... arghhh......

OK, I have to go and wash the bedsheets now.... tomorrow the curtains and strollers, Thurs the play pen.... hahaha

Bun at 36+ weeks

Today we went to see our beloved Dr Lee again - getting a bit bored with all these visits and the waiting .. haha

The good news is Bun is growing well, Dr Lee predicted Bun to be at least 3.2 - 3.4kg (if not more). The circumference of Bun's head is quite big too, about the size of a 37 - 38 weeks baby. So Dr Lee said it is probably a good idea to confirm c-sec.

Our c-sec has been confirmed for 1st November at 2.30pm, just 16 more days to go [nail biting]. I probably won't be able to sleep the night before and ended up looking like a panda on 'action' day. Hopefully Bun remain co-operative and stick to our plan!

Dr Lee also said that there is a high chance that Bun might come earlier. If that happens, then we'll decide on the spot whether I should try natural or c-sec. He said if Bun's head engaged/crowned up to 40 - 50% and my cervix is about 4-5cm dilated, he would encourage me to try natural. But if Bun's head remained high and I am only about 2-3cm dilated and am experiencing labour pains, he suggested that I should just go for c-sec.

As for my weight, I lost this time. I am now at 58.9kg, lost 0.6kg in the last 2 weeks. Is losing weight even possible? I don't really know but Dr Lee said some women will lose weight closer to child birth so I should not be worried about it. But he did asked if I was sick or having diarrhea etc and said that instead of coming back in 2 weeks which will be 2 days before my c-sec, he suggested that I return for the last time next Saturday just to make sure everything is fine - he did show a concern face when he saw my current weight.. haiz...

In the last 2 weeks I also experienced the following changes:

• experiencing extreme itch on my tummy, so itchy that I have to scratch even when I am in the office or driving or walking. Extremely embarassing but I can't help it :-(. Hopefully I won't end up having red watermelon looking scars all over my tummy.
• my gums have also started bleeding in the last few days when I brush my teeth.
• sleeping (finding a comfortable spot) and waking up is becoming more and more challenging. Sometimes Bun will kick or press against my ribs causing pain.
• Bun likes to put pressure on my bladder too, very irritating.
• losing appetite during certain times especially dinner is also becoming a norm - sometimes feeling nauseous after eating - maybe this is why I lost weight.
• I am walking slower and slower that sometimes my colleagues will tease if they need to bring a shopping trolley to wheel me to lunch hahaha

Today we also completed pre-admission at SDMC. The costs are just scary, RM8,000 deposit, single room is RM230 per night (ala hotel standard).. hahaha

Stocking up on herbs from EYS

The moment I found out I got pregnant, my best friend asked me to make sure I stock up on some herbs from Eu Yan Sang (EYS). When she got pregnant and when her sis in law got pregnant, her mom gave them a checklist on the things they need to buy, some from EYS and some from any chinese herbs shops outside but her mom insisted that they MUST get everything on the list. She's had 1 kid, her sister in law 3 kids and they both seems to have very good health after having the kids and rarely falls sick - unlike me :-(.

So this time I decided to follow her and requested the checklist from her mom. This is what I was told to get and I got mine mostly from EYS for convenience sake:

1. Dang Guai and Nan Zhao (get 100 grams and divide into 4 packs), boil and drink with chicken drumstick after 10 days, drink once a week
2. Bak Foong pills (eat for 12 days, only start eating after menses is clear)
3. So Hup pills (eat for 16 days, can start immediately after child birth, once in the morning and once at night)
4. Astragalus slices (pak kei)
5. Tong sum
6. Red dates
7. Black dates
8. Lycium berries (kei chi)
9. Dried longan
10. Black beans (hak dao) use to boil with soup
11. Pak Foong Ngai (herbs for shower)

Items 1 to 3

My 30 packs of items 4 to 9 all nicely prepacked so it would be more convenient for the confinement lady to boil for me

The only 2 items I haven't bought would be item 9 and 10 which I will get later from the chinese herbs shop outside the house. The above, all from EYS cost me a hefty RM718.32 (after member's discount). Well, money aside I just hope to have better health after having Bun because I certainly do not want to be sick so often again like what I have to go through after having Hayley.

At Leona's recommendation, I also got a pack of Bo Ying Compound for Hayley just in case. I was told by EYS that I should give it to Bun as well the moment Bun is born but I am not prepared to do that. I think my breat milk will be sufficient :-)

Bun at 35 weeks

2 weeks flew by yet again. On Saturday we visited Dr Lee again for my checkup. This time I gained 1kg - current weight 59.5kg. 14.5kg gained to-date.

It was a quick checkup, Bun was growing well and we didn't check Bun's weight this time. I told Dr Lee to check only at the next check up so it will be closer to due and I don't have to pay RM60 twice for this scan. It will also be easier for me to make the decision whether to opt for c-sec or natural if I knew Bun's weight at a later stage. Dr Lee said based on the size of my tummy, Bun looks 2 weeks older, ie he is hinting to me to expect Bun to be more than 3kg :-).

Dr Lee gave me some dates to choose in case I decided on c-sec. Since Bun's EDD is 10.11.10, Dr Lee suggested 30.10.10, 1.11.10, 2.11.10, 3.11.10 or 4.11.10. At this point in time, I think I will just go for c-sec due to the following reasons:

• hubby strongly encourage that I go for c-sec again so I don't have to go through the trauma of attempting natural and then ended up being slaughtered if the baby won't crown again - this will also result us in paying extras for the use of labor room and also the operating theatre.
  
• since we have Hayley at home with no maid/help, having an elective c-sec will help us plan a little better. We could make arrangements to drop Hayley at the babysitter's and prepare everything else necessary instead of going into panic mode if I suddenly experience labor pains in the middle of the night
• my first was a c-sec so might as well have another c-sec since I already have a scar there
  
• I know what to expect from a c-sec so hopefully will be able to prepare myself better - mentally and emotionally.
  

Of course there are a lot of disadvantages to c-secs too such as:

• max 3 babies (not that I am planning of having more than 2 but you just never know)
  
• the post surgery healing is much longer than natural birth and much more painful
• movement is very restricted due to the pain for the first 2 weeks, breastfeeding while lying on my sides is almost impossible without help
  
• won't be able to do 'urut' immediately which a lot of people say is really good and must do as soon as I can. I didn't have a single urut session after Hayley was born :-(
  
• of course it cost a lot more too.. you're talking about RM3-4k V RM7-8k at SDMC
  
• restrictions to certain confinement foods
• more prone to infections post surgery (which I experienced 2 weeks after having Hayley)

Weighing the pros and cons, I am currently 70% leaning towards c-sec. Anyway, will decide in another 2 weeks. Hopefully I will be 100% sure by then.

I just hate making all these decisions but it is one that must be made. SIGH....

Bun at 33 weeks

So fast 2 weeks flew by. Today we went for our regular check up again.

Bun
Everything is going well and Bun has been upside down since 2 weeks ago and remained upside down. Today we managed to catch a clear glimpse of Bun's face. The nose, the lips, the face was extremely visible but we still can't tell who Bun looks like. Bun has a big nose (must be from the papa) and thick lips (must be from me) :-). Didn't look at all like Hayley when she was a baby.

Dr Lee said he will weight Bun again at week 34 to keep a close tab on the weight and help me decide by 36 weeks whether to go for a c-sec or to attempt natural.

Me
I only gained 0.5kg this time. Am extremely happy. This means 13.5kg weight gained so far. The pain down there is slowly returning and Dr Lee said it is normal at this stage and there is nothing he could do to help me. He also reminded me to sleep on my sides at night.

I also mentioned to him about the irregular heartbeat. He called it 'skipped beat'. He said some women will experience it although it is not normal. If I am still able to function like normal, ie it is not causing me extreme discomfort, I should not need to worry about it. He said some women who experienced serious skipped beat will need to wear a gadget 24 hours a day to monitor the heart beat.

I am also getting more and more tired by the day. Going up the stairs or walking long distance is becoming a challenge.

Hayley
Brought her along to the hospital again today. She was extremely naughty. Running here and there in the waiting area, touching this and that, refused to sit down even for 2 mins and making all sorts of noises. She will walk towards other babies or kids and play with them and annoyed their parents.

The funniest thing today is when we were leaving Dr Lee's office. The moment she stepped out from the room she said this 'hello everybody' while waving her hands to everyone seated in the waiting area. Sometimes we don't know if we should be angry, happy, proud or sad to have such a child! Maybe a combination of everything best described how we feel.....

Bun at 31 weeks

Last Saturday it was the usual bi-weekly check up for Bun.

While waiting for our turn, the nurses took my weight and also examined my urine, as usual. I gained another 1.7kg in 2 weeks. I am now at 58kg, 13kg gained so far. Urine is normal.

After waiting for about 45 mins, it was our turn. This time Dr Lee checked the weight of Bun. Bun weighed at 1.8kg, Dr Lee said it was ideal for a 31 week old baby. At this rate, Dr Lee 'predicted' Bun to be at 2.9 or 3kg when born. So my next mission is to decide whether I want to opt for a c-sec or attempt natural birth - something that I still can't decide now as they both have their own pros and cons.

As for me, nothing much has changed since 2 weeks ago. The only new condition I have is irregular heart beat which I forgot to check with Dr Lee. Sometimes I felt uncomfortable around the heart/chest, felt like the heart was beating irregularly and the entire body felt uneasy. It doesn't hurt, maybe it felt heavy, I just don't know how to explain it. Sometimes I even think (maybe I was imagining things) that I might be having a heart attack and I would experience it several times a day.

Other than the above, and feeling heavier each day, the rest are as usual.

I have also started preparing things for the arrival such as stocking up diaper, milk bottles, washing up baby clothes, packing my bag etc. Next on the list would be to clean the cot and play pen, washing the baby car seat, preparing the guest room for the confinement lady and also stocking up on herbs.

Bun at 29 weeks or 7 months

Had our monthly check up last Saturday and surprisingly it wasn't crowded (maybe Dr Lee wasn't that popular :-)). Reached the hospital around 9.45am and this time we brought Hayley along again to let her see the baby and we were done by 10.30am. As usual she was very excited and she got even more excited when Dr Lee gave her a chocolate and then another one as he promised as she was well behaved during the scan.


As for Bun, everything looks normal and good although the head was still on top. It was a quick routine scan. As for me, I gained another 3kg (oh shucks!) and I am now at 56.3kg, 11.3 kg gained. Dr Lee said anything between 12 - 15kg in total is considered normal. Looking at the rate I am going, I think I will become 'abnormal' at the end of it. I really should start watching my diet from now on (say only but can never resist the ice cream, donuts, murtabak chicken).... hahahaha...


Since the last check up a couple of things have changed in me.

1. The pain I mentioned in my previous post here is getting so much better. At least now I could walk without being in a lot of pain. It only hurts once in a while now especially when I have walked too much or when I am too tired or when I toss and turn in bed. Otherwise not so much pain.. so that was a huge relieve.
2. My tummy is also getting a lot bigger. Everyone who bumps into me (even strangers) will ask if I am due soon cause they said it looks huge and very low [nail biting].
3. I find it challenging to stand up after sitting on the floor. Even when I am seated on the chair I can feel the bump directly resting on my thighs. Don't remember feeling these when carrying Hayley, at least not until the last month.
4. Both my feet (around the calves) started to swell more than a month ago. The calves felt very hard and tensed. Even when I walk I can feel the calves hardened like I will be getting a cramp soon that kind of feeling. Dr Lee said the swelling could be caused by me sleeping on my back as he said sleeping on my back will reduce oxygen flow to the legs causing swelling and varicose veins as well as cramps. It won't be good for the baby too. I have been sleeping on my back since the pain down there started to avoid having to toss and turn but I have now started sleeping sideways despite the pain and hopefully the swelling will go away soon.
5. I have had 2 cramps so far, both times on my right leg. They happened in the middle of the night and I suffered in silence... sob sob
6. I am also feeling more pain around the tummy. Sometimes when Bun stretches ie when you see the tummy turning into an odd shape, it hurts. I had to stop doing whatever I was doing until the pain is gone as it really hurts. Don't know if these are called 'Braxton Hicks' contractions. I sometimes feel it a few times a day more so at night.
7. The midnight need to go to the loo is still ongoing. Sometimes after going to the loo, I won't be able to fall asleep until 2 hours later hence waking up in the morning feeling very tired.
8. I get lower back ache if I sleep on my back. Thankfully they only last for a while.

We still have not decided whether we will go for a normal or c-sec delivery. Dr Lee suggested checking the weight of Bun the next round which will be in 2 weeks. He said if Bun is between 2.8 - 3kg, I could still attempt a normal delivery but if Bun is going to be as heavy as Hayley (3.4kg) or around there, he would suggest a c-sec as he foresee that I will encounter similar problems ie baby not crowning due to my petite size (small bum). I am leaning towards c-sec as of now as I definitely do not want to go through the labour pains and then c-sec post surgery pains all over again.

Detailed Scan - DONE

This afternoon we completed Bun's detailed scan which cost us RM220. Happy to record that everything was well and in order. Another hurdle passed!

The sonographer scanned the toes, fingers, brain, face especially lips (for cleft lips), back bone, blood flow to the brain, kidney, heart, lungs, the long bones to the arms and legs, cord insertion, placenta, amniotic fluid (to ensure its sufficient), bladder, stomach, diaphragm etc

The scan was quite fun as we were able to see Bun in more detail, unlike the usual ultrasound. We could even see Bun's face like a 3D/4D image. Papa claimed Bun had a flat nose like me :-(. Looking at the scan, Bun didn't look at all like Hayley when she was born. It was a nice feeling seeing Bun although in black and white.

Bun at 24 weeks is 842 grams and I have gained 2.4kg since my last check up around 3+ weeks ago. I am now at 53.2kg, 8.2kg gained since I got pregnant. I hope to be able to maintain the same weight gain as previous pregnancy which was 13kg in total. Looking at the rate I am going, with 14 - 16 more weeks to go, I think it is going to be mission impossible.

The sonographer gave us a copy of the scan (we haven't seen it yet so not sure whether it was a recording of the entire scan from start to finish or it was just copy of the images she took down during the scan) in a CD. Whatever it is, it is nice to have something for memory sake :-)

Pain pain go away...

Today I was on MC as I woke up and couldn't get out of bed without being in pain. In fact the unbearable pain started around evening yesterday and this morning it still didn't go away.

It was the same pain I mentioned in my blog here just that this time it was unbearable and I didn't want to take chances. Immediately I called Dr Lee and made an appointment to see him. Unfortunately, there were no words of comfort from him despite me paying for consultation. In fact he told me that the pain might go away on its own in a few weeks or I may have to live with it until Bun was born... oh great, 4 more months to go!

The nurse who assisted Dr Lee told me she had the same problem as me and hers lasted until the baby was born - how comforting :-(.

Dr Lee said my placenta wasn't low anymore, it was normal but the pain could be caused by some joints and bones that are touching each other as my body continues to adapt to the growth of Bun. He said some unfortunate women will experience this and it is quite common especially for those who've had the first child.

The pain could go away in a few weeks but only to return towards the last trimester with a vengeance or the pain would linger on and becomes more and more painful towards the last trimester. Some women couldn't even walk when that happens and had to be on a wheelchair. Either one doesn't sound like sweet melodies to my ears.

Since he's got no remedies or medicine for me, I was advised to live with it, bear with it and make the best out of it. Find ways to walk, sleep or sit that won't hurt so much and try not to strain it by lifting heavy stuff or walk too much to make the 'so called injury' worsen.

The only comforting words I have from him today would be that everything was fine with Bun. That was the most important to me. As for the pain, I am sure I can bear with it, I just have to as I don't have a choice. I sometimes just wonder why I cannot have a problem free pregnancy like most people do. I truly envy them. I know I shouldn't compare but sometimes I just can't help it.

On the other hand, I do sincerely thank God for giving me my babies whenever I want them as I know some people have been through even more (physically, emotionally and financially) and yet still couldn't becomes mommies. For that I am truly truly thankful.

I kept telling papa that this will be the last. No more and I hope I don't get tempted 2 or 3 years down the road to have the 3rd! If that happens, please remind me! :-)

By the way, for the record, I gained 600 grams in 12 days, my dieting seems to have worked :-)

Bun at 5 months

Last Wed we went for a check up, Bun was at 19 weeks and I gained 3kg! Yes 3 huge kg in 3 weeks. I am now at 50.8kg. I better control my diet else I will be in serious trouble.

As for Bun, everything is well except that my placenta is a little low according to Dr Lee. And that explains why I am having pains down there for the past few weeks and the pain have become more and more unbearable. It felt like the pain I had when I was at 9 months with Hayley, like she's about to come out from down there that kind of pain, like some veins are being pulled down there.

Dr Lee said there are 2 possible reasons for the pain:

1. this was my 2nd child and my uterus have expanded before and therefore higher chances for the placenta to be lower this time causing the pressure pain.
2. I had a c-sec the last time and during the c-sec some of my veins or whatever is in there may have been tangled or stuck together and therefore with the baby continuously growing, the veins may be pressured hence causing the pains which felt like the veins are being pulled.

Thankfully I only felt the pain when I walk or when I move. If I stay still in bed or sit in a chair, there will be no pain. I just hope the pain will go away soon. I don't know how I am going to deal with it if I have to live with it for another 20 weeks!

During the check up, I also had my blood test done for HIV and infections. The blood tests cost us an additional RM100. For my next check up in 3 weeks, I was advised to go for the detailed scan which will cost us RM220 to check and ensure that Bun's organs are developing well. Although this was my 2nd pregnancy, the detailed scan and the NT test mentioned here are all very new to me as my previous gynae never recommended or mentioned about them.

Now all I hope for is that the pain will go away so I can plan for a short trip in the next few weeks before we are being grounded at home for the next 2 years!

Me at 19 weeks

• I have gained 3kg at my last check up about 3 weeks ago. I expect at least another 2 -3 kg of weight gain next Wed (my next check up)
• I am losing a lot of hair. Weird huh?! I thought we will lose our hair 3 months after child birth? How come I am losing hair now? die la, going to be botak soon
• I have very good appetite. I don't seem to feel full, I can eat and eat and eat like there's no limit.
• My baby bump is very obvious now, people have started asking me if I am pregnant.
• I am not getting enough sleep because I have to wake up at least once or twice a night to clear my bladder and then will struggle a little bit before I can get back to sleep.
• I have a BIG zit on my nose, it lasted about 2 weeks but thank God it's almost gone now. I don't usually have zits on my face so this is quite shocking. Right in the middle of the nose some more leh....like Rudolph.
• Bun is moving and kicking a lot inside there, I can feel it many times day. Thankfully so far it didn't interrupt my sleep.
• My belly button is all the way out, it looks so funny. Even Hayley thinks it looks funny.
• I can still fit into my usual jeans but have to unzip it all the way down and my shirt must be long enough to cover. It's getting more and more uncomfortable wearing it though.
• I have no cravings or preference for any special kind of food, can eat and drink anything. Thank God.
• I think the baby bum is a little low this time so constantly I am feeling some pressure down there, like something is pushing down there. Not sure if this is a good or bad sign.
• I need at least 1 nap a day to recharge myself. I don't get to nap on weekdays due to work so we hardly go out on weekends as I need to nap!
• And oh, my breasts have increased at least by 2 cup sizes :-)

Bun at 4 months

Last Saturday I went to see Dr Lee of SDMC for my regular check up. Bun is at 16+ weeks but my tummy looked like I am 5 - 6 months pregnant, no joke, I am huge this time if compared to the first. Even my colleagues who saw me when I was pregnant the first time said I was huge this time around, even papa said so too.

Anyway, happy to know that everything went well and Bun is active as usual. Kicking and moving non stop during the short ultrasound so unlike Hayley who was normally very quiet and still (but came out totally the opposite). However, Dr Lee mentioned that from the ultrasound, Bun's length and size of the head looks more like an 18 week old baby and if this goes on, I'll most likely have to go under the knife again instead of a natural delivery. He said the size of the baby is more or less genetic so nothing I do would make a huge difference. Anyway, we have agreed to see how it goes during the last trimester and discuss again closer to the delivery.

Dr Lee also mentioned that from this month on my check ups will be at monthly basis, hurray. I have also started on pre-natal vitamins and calcium. Currently I am taking Caltrade (Calcium), Obimin Pluz and Neuro Gain. I've taken Neuro Gain at my own expense when I was pregnant with Hayley so I am going to do the same for Bun. Some say Neuro Gain makes the baby smarter, cheekier and harder to manage, I don't really care. To me, both my babies deserve the same.

During the check up we also found out Bun's gender but we're planning to keep it as a surprise to everyone else, except close family. Hope we won't drive you nuts :-)

Now my only hope is that Bun continues to grow healthily in me and I continue to have a problem free pregnancy. Can't wait to see Bun again during the check up in a months' time.

Clocking the miles for charity

My company came up with a challenge for charity. Everyone in the company is supposed to clock 80 miles in 80 days. We can run, walk, cycle or swim. Whatever we achieve, the company will match and donate it to a charity in South Africa. I am still not 100% sure how it works. All I know is we can either achieve the 80 miles ourselves or buy miles from other colleagues if we can't achieve our own. Anyway, I will know more about it come end July when the challenge ends. The challenge started 1st May and todate I have only clocked 2 miles which is about 3km.

I have tried to walk (can't run, can't cycle and can't swim) 3km (1.5 mile) once every weekend at least but the weather has been either too hot or too wet. I am quite sure I will not be able to cover 80 miles in the remaining weeks but I do hope to do the best I can.

I am just wondering how other working mothers out there find time to exercise? I consider myself working 7 days a week. Mon to Fri for my employer, Sat and Sun for my husband and child. In fact, I am even more tired on weekends doing the house chores and looking after an active 2 year old.

When I was carrying Hayley, I was religiously walking 3x a week covering at least 3km each time. But with bun, I have not been able to exercise and am feeling really bad and guilty.

Hot Hot Hot

The weather is just too hot. I wish the hot spell would come to an end soon. It's so difficult having to deal with the hot weather especially when pregnant. We feel twice the hotness...!

Walking out of the house to hang some clothes or to bring in some clothes can kill me. I don't even want to go out for lunch and will normally ask papa to pack back. Yes that bad. Sometimes I will even sweat when sitting in front of the TV with the fan switched on.

I am so terrified that Hayley would get sick because of the heat and make sure I boil something 'cooling' for her to drink at least once a week. The easiest for me would either be barley or the big pear with brown skin. My sister told me the big pear with brown skin (sorry don't know what it is called) is good to bring down the heat in the body. All I need is just to wash it up, cut it into small pieces and put it to boil for several hours. Add some rock sugar to make it sweet. Thankfully Hayley enjoyed drinking it.

As for myself, I don't usually drink ice water or anything with ice in it when I am pregnant. I am not sure what the logic is but my mom and sis will ask me not so I just listen and follow their advise. But these few days I couldn't resist the temptation. It is so hot that I have to drink ice water almost everytime, ice coke is even better.... so sorry Bun, I hope it won't cause you harm in anyway cause I just have to drink it. If I ask my gynae whether it's ok to drink ice water, he will surely scold me. He will ask me if I did go to school cause the books would have taught me that cold water will turn to body temperature as soon as it enters the body. Therefore, there is no scientific proof that drinking ice water will cause any harm... haha

Bun in the oven

We're happy to announce that Bun is officially in the oven :-). Bun will turn 13 weeks old tomorrow. Today we did the Nuchal Translucency Test which is an ultrasound test that measures a small fluid collection within the skin at the back of the baby's neck. The larger the nuchal measurement, the higher the chances of the baby having Downs syndrome. The test is 70 - 80% accurate and is recommended for mother's below the age of 35 and should be done between 11 - 14 weeks. Our test result today came back normal and we're thankful and glad.

We have always discussed about having the 2nd and our last child when our first turned 2 in February and lucky for us Bun was conceived in February. Talk about hitting the jackpot :-)

I was initially terrified to go through pregnancy again due to the complications I had with Hayley but everyone assured me that no 2 pregnancies would be alike and I shouldn't assume or worry too much. Heeding their advice, we went for it. And guess what? Both my pregnancies were indeed alike :-(, how unlucky of me.

During the 5 - 10 weeks of Bun's life, I had the same condition called 'threaten miscarriage' where I will constantly have spotting or bleeding that could cause a miscarriage. The only difference this time is I didn't experience blood clots coming out of me (thank God) but I did have spotting for 5 long weeks and bled fresh red blood twice during those weeks. Again, they scared the hell out of me and I rushed to the nearest clinic (I was at work during the 1st ordeal) with an ultrasound machine everytime it happens to make sure Bun is still intact. Thankfully Bun is but the GP was concerned.

When I missed my period, I knew I was pregnant. We bought the the home pregnancy test kit and did the test sometime around the 5th week. It was positive. And you know what, again we have the same mixed reactions. I thought I would be happy but I wasn't. I suddenly felt that I was being unfair to Hayley. She's not going to be my bao bei anymore and a sibling will be joining us soon and we'll have to divide our love. I suddenly felt sad for her and wanted to just hug and kiss her all the time. I felt that I was taking away something that is solely hers, our undivided love. I wasn't sure if I could handle it.

Again after a few weeks the reality sank in and my love for Bun slowly developed. It was a strange feeling, not feeling the love, feeling unsure and lost at the initial stage, don't know if this happened to all the mothers out there or maybe it was just me. Maybe I am strange.

During the difficult weeks, I was again given MC to rest at home. This time I was given 3 days of MC which could be prolonged if the spotting or bleeding continues but I didn't want to sit at home. Instead I requested from my boss to work half days from home for a week to see if my body could cope. I was not allowed to walk unless necessary, lift heavy stuff, exercise, go shopping etc. Despite being very tired and lethargic (I swear don't remember being this tired carrying Hayley), thankfully we sailed through yet again.

This time, we've also changed to a new gynae due to the bad experience. And this time we didn't take the progesterone pills which some gynaes claimed could help strengthen the womb like we did with Hayley. When I was carrying Hayley and dealing with the bleeding, the gynae suggested progesterone. I woved to do everything I could to make sure the baby would be safe and so I took it. For my curent pregnancy, my new gynae said there were no scientific proof that progesterone would help strengthen the womb and I should just let nature do it's own thing. If the baby is meant to stay, it will stay. This time his words made perfect sense and we decided to listen to him and let God decide.

Going through 2nd pregnancy with a toddler at home is no easy thing let alone a complicated pregnancy. Again papa stepped in during those difficult weeks. I didn't carry Hayley for weeks but I tried to hug her as much as I can to compensate. Papa had to attend to her most of the time while I just sat on the couch and supervised. Papa had to send her to the babysitter in the morning, pick her up in the evening, bath her, feed her, carry her, take her to the playground, play with her, entertain her as well as cook healthy and delicious meal for us. I was all the while the spectator and only helped out if the tasks could be done with me sitting down. It felt horrible but I was thankful for having such a reliable and loving pillar!

The other surprise with this pregnancy is that the gynae found an additional sac in my uterus at around 8 weeks. He could not determine if it was a fibroid or it was an undeveloped twin. And since I did an ultrasound and pap smear in January before conceiving, he said most likely it wasn't fibroid but he still could not rule it out. He said we'll need to monitor it for a while but judging from the colour as seen on the ultrasound, it does look more like a sac than a fibroid. It was 3.1cm and it was separated from Bun. We also did a vagina scan just to make sure there isn't a foetus in the sac. I had to go back for a check up every 2 weeks. 2 weeks later (10 weeks) we did another scan and the sac shrunk to 2.5cm. Dr said it was a good sign. This could also be one of the reasons why I was spotting/bleeding.

With the 2nd pregnancy, I also felt nauseated more often and for a longer period. With Hayley, I remember experiencing it for 1.5 - 2 weeks. With Bun, it lasted more than a month and sometimes I could feel it the entire day. Thankfully I didn't really throw up. I just need to make sure I eat when I am hungry (I'll have the nauseated feeling when I am hungry) and eat in moderation. I am also more picky in terms of food. I prefer spicy and tasty stuff whereas with Hayley, I could eat anything and everything.

My little bump was also more obvious this time. Those who know me personally could guess that I was pregnant as early as 8 weeks cause the bump was already visible. Whereas with Hayley, the bump only appeared around 4 months. Bun is also more active compared to Hayley, everytime we check Bun out on the ultrasound, Bun will either be stretching, waving hi, sucking fingers or doing kicks and punches.

With Bun, I have to admit that I am doing less than what I used to do for Hayley. Probably because it's Bun No 2 and like most mothers who've experienced first pregnancy, we'll slack a little when it comes to the 2nd :-). I didn't drink red dates or birds nest as frequent as I used to, I also eat a lot of fast food and unhealthy stuff, something I didn't do when I was carrying Hayley. Once I saw someone eating Twisties BBQ flavour and I wanted to eat it straight away and so I did [guilty]. But, no matter what I do, I will religiously take my folic acid and drink my Enfamama :-)

We are eager to know Bun's gender and not planning to keep it as a surprise until Nov. Bun is expected to arrive 10.11.10. Hopefully it will be a boy so we will have the perfect combo but even if it's a girl, we'll be happy and thankful. Nothing is more important to us than having a healthy perfect little baby to complete the family.

With all the complications and issues I've had with both pregnancies, I told papa that this will be the last. I am not physcially and mentally strong enough to go through another one. Moreover, age is catching up and I would love to end the sleepless nights, breastfeeding and terrible twos drama as soon as I can :-)

Our next check up will be end of May. Hopefully everything goes well from now on and I can finally enjoy my pregnancy.