Happy 4th birthday my girl...

Today, my girl turns 4. Happy birthday girl!

Although it is your birthday, can I please make a wish? PLEASE quickly get over your 'picky eating' stage pretty please? Otherwise all my hair will turn white very soon!!!!! Thank you.

Here are some photos from her celebration at school.

Party packs for her classmates, yellow for the boys, red for the girls

Happy with her present from the teacher and card from her friends

Do you love me or not?

Recently my soon to be 4 year old girl is constantly asking everyone in the family especially me and the papa that question.

Is it common for the first child to behave this way when they have a younger sibling who is at the moment getting more attention from the parents? Is that a sign of insecurity or sibling rivalry? Are we not juggling our love correctly between the kids resulting in such a behaviour? Should I be alarm? What should I do?

Of late she is showing a lot of unacceptable behaviours which warrants some whacking (on top of the usual reasoning, explaining, scolding, warning and punishing) - running and playing in the middle of the road despite us telling her many times that it is dangerous (if you asked her what she did wrong, she can tell you that she cannot play on the road as there will be oncoming cars), throwing up food whenever she feels like it, most of the time with the excuse that it was too big a spoon and it made no difference if we're feeding her or she was feeding herself or if we're eating at home or eating out (sometimes we only give her half a teaspoon and she still said it was too big), not listening to what we say and intentionally not doing what we repeatedly asked her to and many more....

I know kids will be kids and we can't expect them to be perfect at all times but as a parent I believe we also need to teach them from young on what's dangerous and acceptable and what's not and we will use whatever method that works. Having read many blogs written by mothers who I look up to in parenting, I know whacking is not the best solution and I don't like doing it too but sometimes I just don't know what else to do or how else to send the message across to her. Whenever she misbehaves, I always start by reasoning and explaining and if she still repeats the same after a few times then I will move on to warning and scolding. If that didn't work it will be punishing (usually we'll make her stand at a corner by herself staring at the wall and she will cry and cry) and lastly we'll use the cane. No matter what methods were used, we always explain to her at the end of it why we did what we did to hopefully help her understand.

I am really at my wits end on how to handle this girl of mine at this stage. I hope this will only be temporary and she will learn to understand better as she gets older. Can anyone please tell me at what age things will start making sense to them?

I do constantly tell her I love her and her brother (trying to instill in her head that I love both the same no matter what) but everytime after an unhappy episode be it scolding or punishing or whacking or even a simple thing where I don't oblige what she wants then she will say that I don't love her and will wrap her arms around herself and show me that she is unhappy. She will only show me her happy face again when I say I love her.

Whenever I am home she will want me to do everything for her such as bathing her, feeding her, brushing teeth with her, making her milk, playing with her etc. She won't want the maid or the papa. It feels like she's trying to tell me she wants my attention and I am trying to give her my undivided attention as much as I can (which is very hard with a 1 year old around) and I hope every little effort I am putting in will make a difference.

Looking at her reactions, I also sometimes wonder if I actually caused this. You see, the maid helps me with Hayley when I am at work and on weekends and I don't usually let the maid handle Zac as I don't trust her with a toddler (she tends to be forgetful and careless). So I usually will bath, feed and attend to Zac myself on weekends while she helps me with Hayley. Before having the maid, I will attend to both myself. I am wondering if she's taking this negatively that I don't care for her anymore and leaving her to the maid? I wish I can just get into her head and understand what she's thinking.

I actually did think of this before and tried attending to both kids myself on weekends and was told off by some people that I should not do that now that I have a maid. I was constantly asked what's the point of having a maid if I still have to do everything myself? Anyway, from this weekend onwards I am going to brush aside what others have to say and try changing my approach and see if it will help.

Sigh.... with 2 kids I am already at wits end. I really salute parents with 3 or more kids and doing it wonderfully.

Another hair pulling moment

Since last week I have been tortured emotionally and mentally by my 3 year old girl. SHE REFUSED TO EAT!

It has been almost a week now and she still refused to eat. This is what I am going through everyday:

Morning (8am) - made her a bottle of milk, usually 7oz and she will finish half only

Breakfast (10 ish) - refused to eat anything

Lunch (1pm) - when we're preparing rice she will say she already had her food and she's not hungry. We'll force her to eat the food and she will sulk and pretend to vomit and will insist that we give her small spoons only otherwise she will throw up (small as in 1/3 of a teaspoon!). We'll struggle to make her finish about half a bowl of rice. Sometimes we just give up after a few spoons cause she will start crying, and we'll start losing our temper etc.

Tea (3pm) - another bottle of milk, sometimes she won't finish

Dinner (6pm) - similar struggle as per lunch

Last milk feed (9pm) - she usually will fnish this one but sometimes insist that we make her just half a bottle.

I am really upset. Why did she suddenly become like this? She used to love her milk and will eat whatever we eat. What makes her change so suddenly? It will be easier if we give her junk food as in ice cream, chocolate, McDonalds etc. She will take them with no problems.

I've de-wormed her 2 weeks ago, will the de-worm cause loss of appetite? It doesn't look like it cause she will finish the entire ice cream so her appetite is definitely there, just that she's selective of what she wants to eat. I brought her to the doctor cause I was really worried and he said de-worming will not usually cause loss of appetite but he said it could still be a possibility.

The doctor also asked if there was anything else that we've changed in her life in the last few weeks prior to this new 'phase'. The only other thing we did was that we've stopped sending her to the babysitter since Reni arrived. Could this have caused her to be emotionally upset and hence this horrible phase to get our attention?

I have tried talking to her, asking her what was wrong but all she said was 'I don't want big mouth' ie referring to small amount when we feed her. She did not tell me anything else.

I am going to lose my mind very soon. Should I just let her starve until she ask me for food????

What should I do?????? I am just worried that she will fall ill if this goes on.

Concert & Graduation 2011

Saturday, 19th November 2011 marks another milestone in Hayley's life. She successfully completed her 1st year in kindie and performed in a mini concert. We've never been more proud of her.

She and all her classmates, the 3 year olds, did a dance to the 'We go Together' song, sang the 'Negaraku' and '1 Malaysia' and teamed up with the 4 year olds to sing the 'It's a Small World' song.

My talkative 3 year old was also given the honour to introduce their class performance where she and another classmate (boy) was given the mic, stood in the middle of the stage (just the 2 of them) and had to say their name, their class and the song they will be dancing to. She was brave and had no stage fright whatsoever, so so proud of her!!

The theme was 'Disney World' and this cheapskate mummy did a DIY Mickey Mouse headband instead (in less than 10 mins :-)).

Ceh ceh's supporters

Putting on ICIs. I actually prefer her to be without makeup (how to remove make up for kids and make them wash their face properly after that???).

The teachers also used some gold dust on their hair, SUPER HATE!!

Still ICI-ing

More supporters

Waiting.....

Teachers and students singing the '1 Malaysia' song. There is something which I just have to mention here. Half way through the song, the little boy in orange (the 1st one in the queue) sat down on the floor trying to fix his broken '1 Malaysia' thingy. When he failed to fix it, he started crying while everyone else was still singing. The teacher quickly gave him a new one and he immediately stopped crying. It was really cute ;). And btw, he was the boy that bit my girl here, NOT CUTE! :(

The super cute 3 year olds doing their dance to the song 'We Go Together'. Look at how my girl was trying to 'fix' her partner...

The 3 and 4 year olds singing 'It's a Small World'

Everyone receive a little gift from Teacher Joanne for all the hardwork.

It was a nice hardcover Barney book :)

Peer pressure

I am feeling the pressure.

Most of my friends have started sending their kids who are about the same age as Hayley to piano classes, ballet classes, music classes, arts classes, swimming lessons and whatever classes you can find out there and they asked me if I have or if I am going to send my girl to any.

My girl is turning 4 in Feb and the pressure is intensifying. One part of me wanted to send her to these classes so she's on par with the other kids her age, spend less time in front of the TV and teaches her about discipline and responsibilities but the other part of me is asking ME a lot of questions. Does she really need these classes at such young age? Why do I want to give in to these peer pressures and get my already hectic weekend even more hectic having to chauffeur her between classes? Will she be less smart, less cool or less intelligent if she is not attending any of these classes? I don't have the answers.

I guess there is no harm in keeping her occupied with something she is keen on rather than have her at home with her eyes glued to the tv all the time. But at 3+, what would suit her? I've tried to observe her to see if she's good at anything specific so I can continue to hone those skills but the only thing she is good at from my observation is 'talking'! She can really talk and makes you shake your head in disbelief all the time!

I asked her a couple of times if she wants to learn piano, she said yes. Then I asked her if she wants to learn dancing and she said yes. I asked her again if she wants swimming, she said she can swim. I asked her again to pick a favourite and she said 'mmm... I want dancing, I want piano, I want swimming'. How la like that?! Oh her teachers did say she love to dance. Of course she love to dance, she's my kid, got my genes la! :-)

So I tried to list down a couple of the most common ones:-

1. Ballet? Nah, she's too boyish for that. Ballet needs poise and discipline and she's got none of those.
2. Piano? This is a maybe but definitely not now. We are hoping to bring papa's piano out from hometown and when the piano is here (whenever that will be), then we can consider this.
3. Arts? She's still too playful for things that requires focus and attention. The teacher mentioned to me during the report card day that she has improved a lot overall but it is still quite tough to get her to finish something that requires concentration and focus. She gets distracted easily as always and you really need to sit next to her and instruct her to finish what she started.
4. Dancing? Hip hop or breakdance might suit her but what's the benefit? She often dances in front of the TV at home anyway.
5. Swimming? That's an idea but where can I find swimming schools? Both papa and I can't swim so we need her to know how to swim :-)

What did you all plan out for your kids? What would you recommend for a an active talkative kid like mine? Care to share with me?

Bite marks

Both kids got bitten today :(

My boy got bitten by mozzies and it usually will end up like these and they will usually last for 3 - 4 days. Now he still doesn't know how to scratch and I don't dare to imagine how many 5 cents or 10 cents marks he will end up having when he does know how to scratch later.

And my girl got bitten by her classmate. This photo was taken at 9pm, about 10 hours after the incident. When the teacher first told me over the phone, I was so angry I wanted to find the boy and pull out all his teeth. But then I calmed down and reminded myself that they are just kids. It could happen the other way around and if that really did happen I am sure I would feel very sorry for the other kid as well.

Some latest photos

Since I don't have much time to write posts, I am taking in Leona's suggestions to post more photos instead. So here are some recent photos (in fact it was taken yesterday) taken at a cousin's wedding:

Kid are ready

My elder sis with my kids and her kids.... This is what I call having your handsful!

This photo also reminded me not to have 4 kids!

When kids are not around... hehehe

Zac and popo

Rare family shot

My kids with my sis and her boyfriend. For some weird reasons, my girl loves Ivan (the boyfriend) to bits... she will say she miss kor kor more than she will say she misses her yi yi

Zac and small yi yi

Aunty June (my cousin's wife) carried Zac during his fullmoon with the hope that she will conceive. And so she did! :-). She will due in Nov (same month as Zac, how cool is that?!)

Little rascal, little angel

It has certainly been a while since I blog solely about my girl who is not so little anymore. She is now 3+. How time flies. Since boy was born life has been pretty hectic for us that I have to be selective on what to blog (cause no time ma) and my posts are usually pretty short. A long post will require a lot more effort and time which is something I cannot afford right now :(

Most blogger moms I know are usually very quiet on weekends, I guess so they can spend quality time with family. For me, it was just the opposite. Weekdays are more hectic and routine, hardly got spare time to do anything else unless I sacrifice sleep. The only time I have to blog nowadays would be on weekends when the kids are asleep and when housework are done.

This is a long overdue post of my girl. My 3 year 7 months old has indeed grown a lot since becoming a sister and since she attended school. She really enjoyed going to school. She can now sing some kid songs in Mandarin and Bahasa Melayu and even the national anthem (of course not the entire anthem, just bits and pieces here and there but you can make out the song). She is familiar with all the alphabets (capital and small letters) and numbers 1 to 10. She can count (below 10) pretty well and can do some simple additions using her fingers. Since I didn't spend time nurturing her at home, I am very proud of her achievements and didn't regret sending her to school (except when she picked up the germs and got sick).

My girl is also very sarcastic and witty, probably something she picked up from me (haha). At 3 years old she knew when to bombard back at you when you said the wrong things or did the wrong things. She knew the right words to use to get back at you and made you speechless. Just this morning she came back from her cycling routine with her popo and I told her to put her shoes back properly (she was wearing slippers) and she said this "it's not shoes, it's slippers". Just the other day her papa drove to a dead end and was trying to reverse and she said "papa, what are you doing? why you drive to the wrong place?". Yesterday I asked her if she wants a new papa. She said yes. Then I asked her why? She said "cause papa didn't wear shirt, shame shame, so I don't love him". Then I asked what if he's wearing a shirt? She said "then it's ok, I love him".

I was always told by my sisters and some friends that I have a tough cookie, very 'tai kar ceh' little girl. I always thought she would not get bullied or worst still bullying someone else and boy I was wrong. One day she came home from school and I found her spare clothes in a mess and her panty missing (I always check her bag). I asked her what happened and she said 2 black kor kor (her version of Indian boys) take out her things. At 3 years old some of the things she said are still inconsistent and confusing so I tried my best to make out what happened. I know the teachers will pay attention to the kids in school and the only place where bullying can happen to her will be in her transport home. The driver is a nice man but he's too soft and usually don't really care about the kids (sigh). So I asked her if it happened in the car and she said yes. I asked her if she told Uncle Suhaili (the driver) and she said "Uncle Suhaili ask them not to disturb me but they don't listen". Then I asked the babysitter (she is the only one who gets to meet the driver when he sends Hayley to her home everyday after school) and she then (yes she didn't tell me earlier) said Hayley sometimes will be crying when she picked her up and her school bag is always opened. I was furious and heart broken. How can 2 little kids bully another little kid and they chose MY KID! Then I found out the bullies were twins and they were quite big built. I then confronted the teachers and got them to help speak to the boys and also the driver. The teachers then told me that they also heard similar complaints about the boys from other sources. A few days after speaking to the teachers she came home and told me "mummy, the black kor kor didn't disturb me anymore" :)

Since we're still on the topic about the black kor kor, here is another incident. I always pack snacks for her to bring to school just in case she would be hungry while waiting for the transport home (the school provides snacks). Sometimes I provide biscuits, sometimes egg tarts, sometimes buns depending what I managed to buy the day before. One day I bought her a bun with a small piece of ham in the centre. When I saw her tupperware empty I asked if she had the bun. She said she ate the ham. She adds that it was very nice. I thought she finished the entire bun. The next day the babysitter told me the twins took her bun and she snatched back the ham and she only had the small piece of ham while the boys ate the entire bun. Since then I stopped providing snacks for her because I do not want them to target her because of the food in her bag. I think the boys are at most 5 years old, how scary kids can be nowadays when they are not being watched carefully by their parents.

All the bullying aside, my 3 year old have also started turning into a little lady. I used to struggle with her nail biting habit and guess what solved my problem? A nail polish. My little lady asked for nail polish and showed me her nails. She said this "mummy, see my nails. I didn't bite my nails. They are long and nice and you can put colour for me". How can I say no to that? So the next day I went and bought her a pink nail polish and coloured her nails for her. She was truly happy and have since stopped biting her nails and proudly showing off her shiny nails to everyone :)

My little vainpot also asked for a crown and princess dress and hair clips. I think very soon we are going to go shopping together and she will be choosing my outfits for me :-). Yesterday I wore a spaghetti strap top and she said "mummy, your shirt is so sexy"... hahahaha.

Apart from being vain, my little lady is also very caring. When I had my 2nd gastric attack (the very terrible one where I literally had to curl up like a ball and threw up numerous times for a couple of hours) she walked over to me and asked me if I was OK a couple of times. She handed me tissues to wipe my mouth after I threw up, she pat my back when I threw up and the best of all she used her napkin to cover me and asked if I was cold and she looked worried.

Sometimes we have little siu keongs at home (cockroaches) and when she was younger she used to ask her papa to catch it and kill it. Lately she asked her papa not to kill it, they are my friends, she said.

She is also very helpful when it comes to the little brother. We usually have dinner together (the 3 of us) while we let the little one watch TV to keep him occupied. Sometimes he gets bored and will make noise or cry seeking attention. The sister will go to his rescue and bring him toys to play (and pick up for him when he dropped it) and she will even make silly faces or silly noises to make him laugh. She can be an angel to the little brother when she's not snatching away his toys or pushing him away when his walker ran over her toes :)

Every night before going to bed she will say "mom, I forgot to hug and kiss you la".

Whenever she turned off her angelic mode, she still constantly drives us up the wall ie doing things we specifically ask her not to. One very recent scene is where she poked her papa's new TV with her lantern stick and even when the papa asked her to stop, she will still want to poke it one last time. She also likes to draw on the sofa despite me telling her many times not to. Once she was talking so much in the car I asked if she can stop for 5 mins and I will reward her with a chocolate when we get home. She immediately stopped talking but then tried to communicate with me with her mouth closed but humming sounds and showing hands gestures. She is still very energetic and rough. She likes to run to you and hug you but she will actually run and bang into you to hug you. If you're not standing firmly, you might fall *yes that rough! She also likes to interrupt conversations or get involved in whatever we are doing. She is very nosey and wants to be apart of everything.

At 3 year 2 months old she stopped using diapers at night on her own. Apart from constantly reminding her that she's a big girl now and she needs to go to the toilet on her own at night, we didn't really make any effort to train her or to wake her up at night to go to the toilet. We're all talk but no actions here. She stopped wetting her diapers on her own and was diaperless at night for 3+ months. After those months, she started wetting the bed again out of the blue :(. Now we put her back on diapers again.

Sometimes when I look at my sister's 3 year old who is the apple of everyone's eye at her home because she was the youngest and then I look at my 3 year old who is now a big sister who stopped enjoying the privileges of being the only child or the youngest child gives me mixed feelings. One part of me felt happy that she is more mature, helpful and independent but the other part of me felt pitiful for her. She has to give up her car seat and use a booster seat (less comfortable), she must share her toys with her brother else she gets spanked or scolded, she sometimes gets neglected when we are concentrating on the little boy and the list goes on. Whenever I am in my guilty mode, I sometimes end up buying things for her (it should not be encouraged, I know).

Now that boy is much older and easier for us to bring him out, we also try to get more involved with her school activities as and when possible. On Friday we attended her school's Lantern festival cum Hari Raya cum National Day celebration at the field near the school. Kids were asked to dress up in traditional attire and to bring along their lanterns made in school. For once we managed to attend the party (all 4 of us) and I also bumped into Alice Law and her family. Juan Juan was in baju kurung and she looked so sweet and mature. Both Juan Juan and Ah Xuan were holding really nice and expensive looking lanterns :)

Here is my little lady in her baju kurung and her lanterns:

She experienced her first ferry ride when we went to Penang during the Hari Raya and National Day holiday. She was happy being in the ferry. Penang Island itself was jam packed and the journey back to KL took us 12 long hours. Seen her with her popo:

At the beach with her papa. They both have the same smile :)

Here is another photo of her taken on Saturday (10 Sep) before attending Caitlin's birthday (my neighbour's 10 year old daughter). She wanted to wear her 'party' dress :)

And another snapshot of her when she was engrossed in some cartoons.

Lets get sick together marathon

I have to say that the last 2 months must have been the toughest for us since Zac was born. The entire family signed up for a marathon, the lets get sick together marathon! :(

It all started 2 months ago when Hayley brought back the cough and cold bug. She had cough, runny nose and throat infection and was having fever as high as 39.6 over a couple of days which warranted an emergency visit to the 24 hours clinic nearby home one night. Her fever was consistently high especially in the middle of the night so we're constantly up sponging her and checking her temperature. She had no appetite and it was difficult to force food/medicine down her throat. She was basically on fluid for the 5 days.

This time she also passed on the bug to Zac. This was Zac's first time getting unwell since he was born. Zac also had the cough and runny nose. Although Zac didn't get the fever (thank God), his cough were horrible. He's got so much phlegm you could literally hear him wheezing when he breathes. Because the cough was so bad he didn't really get much sleep at night as he was constantly coughing. The child specialist said the phlegm were in his lungs and it would take a while for it to clear. She prescribed antibiotics as well so both my kids were heavily on drugs and antibiotics.

After about a week they were both getting better. Hayley's cough was improving and although Zac was still wheezing slightly, it didn't really disturb him as much. And then it was my turn. I too ended up with throat infection and fever and was out of order for about 3 days. I too had to rely on antibiotics.

As I was on the road to recovery, it was papa's turn. He's got the symptoms and suffered the same fate. Papa's condition was pretty bad. The first antibiotic prescribed by the doctor didn't work and he was still feverish on the 5th day (doctor suggested the dengue test). He went back and asked for a stronger one. Luckily the 2nd one worked.

I thought the nightmare was over when everyone was getting much better and then it started all over again. Sigh......

Hayley's cough and runny nose came back and because Zac have not recovered fully, he contracted it again as well. This time he ended up with the throat infection and his fever soared to 39.7 and his face was all red and shiny and scared the shit out of me. We gave him suppository and it only worked after about an hour! Doctor prescribed with him antibiotics again. He had fever for 3 days and requires lots of sponging and monitoring at night. The strange thing that we found out during his fever bout is that the side with the swelling is hotter than the other side. When we took his ear temperature, the right ear reads 38.5 and the left ear would read 39!

As for me, I got gastritis for the first time and was in pain the entire Sunday despite being on medication. Papa strangely was also feeling unwell on the same Sunday, fever and headache so can you imagine 2 sick adults watching over 2 sick kids?! It was really tough and time passed so slowly. The entire family was sleeping a lot on that Sunday.

It's been a week since the marathon and we're still recovering. Hayley's cough is gone but she's still sniffing slightly. Zac's cough is almost gone but his nose is still runny. Papa's fever is gone but occasionally still gets the headache. I am still on medication for my gastritis and is no longer in pain.

June and July was really tough on us. If I am not mistaken, I think the number of visits to child specialists and clinics in just that 2 months was somewhere between 10 - 15 times. Imagine that!

Hayley's 1st Report Card Day

We've had our first official meet the teachers day to discuss about Hayley's progress in school on 19th June at 9.30am. I have to say that papa and mummy were by far more anxious and excited than the 'star' of the day. We've preparing ourselves for words such as 'she's so active', 'she cannot sit still', 'she gets distracted easily' or worst 'can you please not send her to school anymore' hahahaha from the teachers.

Waiting for her turn to meet the teacher

This is her passport photo.. Look at how much she has grown!

Overall her results were pretty good. Lots of As with a few Bs on areas that I am sure we can work on. The meeting was short and the teacher didn't have much to say about her, no news is always good news :-). The principal even told us that she has 'settled down' a lot compared to when she first started. She can now sit in a group and learn in a group environment, something she cannot do when she first joined as she gets distracted very easily. The teacher and principal also adds that she's a very affectionate child, likes to hug the teachers and carer and is very bonded with them.

I also took the opportunity to provide my 2 cents to the teachers:

1. I reminded the teachers that they should be careful with the words they used around the kids. My girl came back from school one day saying 'busy body' and when I asked her who used the word she told me teacher said she was busy body. Well this is not a bad word but I think the teachers sometimes will also need to be reminded to be more careful with their selection of words.


2. I always wonder how the kids can/will line up and use the toilet before their snack time. My girl was in the bathroom one day and told me she wanted to pee standing (demonstrating to me like how a boy would pee). I ask her why she wants to pee like that. She told me teacher said she can pee like that. I know the teachers won't say she can pee like that but I am just wondering how she knows that boys will pee like that if she's not exposed to it in school????

Recently I've also been making her practise her writing as and when I can. I have to say that it is not easy to make her sit down and write as she does get distracted very easily. Here's her first attempt at writing her own name without me holding her hand or showing her the alphabets. She wrote this on her own with no help from me. This was her best attempt so far and deserved a star :-)Unfortunately, a few days later, she could still write her name but the alphabets were in different sizes, the spaces between the alphabets were different, the alphabets written in the wrong way ie from the right to the left etc... it was really messy! :-(

I really need to make her practise everyday to keep the momentum going. I wish I have more time especially on weekdays. If I could just dedicate 30 mins with her each day to practise writing, colouring or even some arts and crafts with her, I am sure she it will help her focus and concentrate better in school.

A child's character

I always wonder, is a child born with a certain character or is it the parent's fault for not educating and guiding the child causing such a character?

My 3 year old is very different from most kids her age from what I can observe. She is very friendly, caring, inquisitive, curious, mature and has a mind of her own.

Although she is very friendly and caring, most kids at the playground dislike to play with her. You may wonder why????

Well, I would like to think that her friendliness and caring nature kind of scare people away and some even find her annoying. For eg. if she see a little kid (one that is younger than her) at the playground, her sisterly instinct would kick in and she would want to protect the kid. She would want to hold his hand, make sure he won't fall and if he failed to rock on the horsey, she would push him, the same for the slide! Now some of you may think, hey there is nothing wrong with that! Well... she is clumsy and rough, she would sometimes unintentionally cause the kid to fall and when she pushes him on the horsey, she would sometimes push too hard and scare the kid. There is no need to mention how she would scare the parents if she try to help to push a kid down the slide! Some parents will find her annoying too cause she just won't stop following their kid!

When she see older kids at the playground, she would want to play with them. She would play whatever they are playing and try to be involved. She just wants to be apart of them and have some friends. Some of these older kids will find her disturbing. Once, one of the older kids even commented 'wo tau yen tar' (mandarin for 'I hate her'). Sigh.. my poor girl.

If she's at the swing and they are all occupied, she would not hesitate to speak her mind and say 'you have to share, its my turn' to any of the kids on the swing. Although I encourage her to speak her mind and although she is not wrong, some parents and kids will find her to be impolite. Most kids her age would just stand at the corner displaying a sad face waiting for their turn but mine as you can see, will not!

Like most kids her age, she also likes to play with what others are playing. If no one is playing with the blocks, she won't touch the blocks. If a kid plays with the blocks, she too wants to play with the blocks. Same will happen to the brother. Whatever the brother is playing, she wants to play. Is that her being possessive or she's just having trouble sharing??

I always encourage her to be loving, not afraid to kiss and hug and express her love. I always remind her to share which is the hardest lesson to teach as she was quite selfish, I would like to blame this as a result of her being the only child for almost 3 years. We don't pamper and spoil her if that's what you're thinking :-). She does get punished and caned whenever necessary.

So how did she end up with this character? Papa always say she is behaving just like me. Is she mirroring what I am doing or did she get my genes and born with it?

And my next question is, is this character good or bad for her?

Now that she's still young she doesn't know and probably not bruised by being brushed aside by other kids. When she is older, how will she react? Will she grow to be someone with a strong character as a result of this or will she get bruised and eventually hide in a corner?

Only time will tell. I will not stop encouraging her to continue to be caring, friendly and inquisitive but I will certainly keep a close eye to make sure it won't end up in a negative way.

Now now, I also want to give credit when credit is due. Her character sometimes do result in many positive remarks from other parents. Sometimes some will say 'she's very sweet and loving' when she 'took care' of their little ones and some even say 'she's so nice' when she hugged the other kids goodbye :-)

Hayley's chatter

At McDonalds,

Me: How many fries do you want to eat?
Hayley: 5 (showing 5 fingers)
Me: ok I will give you 5

When the fries arrived she immediately took 1. While she was still munching, I gave her 4 more. She started counting..1,2,3,4 then she stared at me

Hayley: how come 4 only?
Me: you said you wanted 5, I gave you 5 (counting the 4 fries plus the one she was holding).
Hayley: not enough, I need more!

Proceeded to snatch the fries from my table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was reading a home design magazine before bed one night,

Me: see this house is so nice (making a sad face), I don't have enough money to buy this house.
Hayley: don't be sad, I will buy for you. How many do you want?
Me: I want 2, I want big house
Hayley: (pointing to the houses on the magazine) OK I buy this one and this one for you ok? (then she patted my shoulder and giving me a reassuring look)
Me: you don't have money. The house is very expensive, need a lot of money
Hayley: I got, I got a lot downstairs (referring to her coin box). I give you a lot ok. I take some more (referring to getting more coins from the father) and give you everything...then you can buy this one and this one ok?
Me: OK
Hayley: see this one got swimming pool, you can go swimming also....
Me: (big smile)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One night during bedtime, while she was lying in bed

Hayley: (out of a sudden) I am so happy. I am a happy girl.
Me: why are you so happy?
Hayley: because i have mummy, daddy, Jun Jun (referring to Zac), yi yi (referrring to my sis), gor gor (referring to my sis's boy friend) and por por.

She made me happy too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She wanted her papa to bath her and the papa was in his study,

Hayley: papa, let's go
Papa: give me 5 mins
Hayley: no, 4 mins! then started counting, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... ok 4 mins already, let's go..
Papa: *speechless*

These moments made all the tiring days of looking after them worth every sweat!

Mild HFMD?

As most of you would know that my girl contracted HFMD and we found out on Saturday 28th May when she complained of mouth pain and refused dinner. There were no early warning as she didn't get any sort of blisters/rash on the hands or feet or buttock or even fever. It started with only ulcers in the mouth.

We took her to the doctor on Sunday morning and the doctor said HFMD usually will have blisters/rashes and told us that although there were none, she very likely contracted HFMD as there were quite a number of ulcers in the mouth (tongue, sides of the cheek and even the top). She sent us home with some painkiller and oral gel.

I've heard a lot of scary stories about how kids will refuse food, milk or even water because of the pain. My sister's 3 year old had it few months back and it was terrible. My sister had to force the 'watermelon frost' into her mouth to numb the pain so she could eat/drink something. I panicked. My girl is known to be very picky with food (very 'siu ceh' and 'yim chim') and I was worried on how to get food into her mouth if she's going to be in such pain.

Thankfully it was pretty smooth for us. On Sunday itself I got her to gargle with salt water a few times a day and the ulcers were bearable as she could still eat and drink and even brushes her teeth. She complained of pain from time to time but she still managed to eat (mainly porridge) and finished up her milk. She continued the salt water routine for the following few days.

Apart from the pain caused by the ulcers she was fine. She was quite her normal self. However, we still tried to keep her away from her brother as much as we can. We sent the boy to the babysitter after confirming that he was fine during daytime. I also did a lot of cleaning, disinfecting and wiping at home. The home smelt like Dettol all the time :-)

After being confined at home for 4 days, we sent her back to the babysitter on Wed so I could go back to work. On Thurs I found out that the other baby (Jovin who is 10 months old) at the babysitter contracted the same thing. She didn't have blisters/rashes as well but only ulcers in the mouth. Could she have contracted it from Hayley? If she did then I would feel really bad. But then why didn't my boy get it? He spent more time with Hayley than Jovin did. Anyway, Jovin also got better after a few days. I am starting to feel that this isn't really HFMD, it may be a new type of disease or a mutated one that is going around town. Apparently the doctor Jovin visited told her mom that he has seen 3 kids with the same symptoms just on that morning itself. So parents out there beware!

The next thing which I will need to do would be to change her toothbrush, cups, teats, drinking bottle etc to get rid of the germs once and for all...

My very first flower from my girl

Some weeks back when I picked Hayley up from the babysitter she couldn't wait to pass something to me. She couldn't even wait until we get into the car. Right the door step of the babysitter's house, she opened her school bag and took out this:


Hayley: it's for you
Me: what is this?
Hayley: it's a flower, teacher made this
Me: what is it for?
Hayley: Happy Mother's Day

Then I reached for the flower and before I could even touch it she said

Hayley: wait, you have to say Gong Xi Fa Cai to me first (with her hands together doing the Gong Xi Fa Cai gesture)
Me: ah?????? [scratch head]

She got mixed up!!!!!! hahahahaha


Nevertheless, I still appreciate the flower and thank you my dear for a memorable Mother's Day!

My 3 year old

Lately I've been so occupied with Zac and adapting to his 'changed patterns' that I have forgotten to keep a tab on my 3 year old.. sigh.. bad mom I know :-(

Ever since she became a big sister and ever since she attended school, she has changed quite a bit. Just for the records, here they are:

• very loving of the little brother although sometimes she still shows some form of jealousy towards him
• very helpful when it comes to the little brother ie taking a diaper, picking up his toys from the floor, rocking him when we're busy, pulling his walker away from the TV when he gets too close and the cutest of all is when he is cranky she will go towards him and try to soothe him by imitating what we adults would do
• she is able to recite 1 to 20, 1 to 15 on her own and 16 to 20 with some help. She can also count/add smaller numbers such as 1 to 5 correctly on her own and 6 to 10 with some help. If there are 3 of us wearing jeans in the house, she will be able to tell us there are '3 people wearing jeans' or 'there are 4 people in the car' or '3 birds in the sky' etc.
• she can recite her A to Z correctly and can recognise her A to Z or a to z with some help on 'g', 'y' and 'u' occasionally.
• everyday she likes to sing nursery rhymes and makes the sounds of alphabets such as ba ba, da da, keh keh etc.
  
• she also picked up some malay words from school such as ikan fish, baju shirt, etc and can sing the entire 'bangun pagi gosok gigi song' with actions
  
• picking up the nail biting and straw biting habit from school again, we catches her doing it occasionally
• very lovely to get little handicrafts done by her (I am sure 90% completed by the teacher :-)) for special occasions such as angpow lanterns for CNY, a paper flower for Mother's Day etc. She's also very proud and protective with the things she brought home.
• been very keen in reading books at night before bedtime (something she didn't like when she was younger). Now she likes to spell the words out and then read them. She doesn't really know how to read yet, she actually memorised them.
• have started learning the trade of negotiating with us ie if she wanted to go somewhere she will make a promise that we will only go for 5 mins or just one time etc.
  
• still wearing diapers to bed at night. We've not trained her to go diaperless (our fault) but for the past few nights the diapers has been dry. Then one day we decided to take out the diaper and on that very night she wet the bed. The next night we put on a diaper for her and it was dry :-(
• still very picky with food but seems to be more open towards fruits
• have also picked up the skill of teasing us. Sometimes she likes to intentionally say the wrong words when we asked her and then followed by a cheeky smile.
• is getting better at her colouring or drawing, just need to teach her to be more focused. She gets bored very quickly.
  

My girl is growing up so quickly that I think I am going to miss the little her ....

My minnie maid

My minnie maid has been volunteering everyday to:

• wipe the dining table after dinner (doing a pretty good job too)


• pushing back the chairs nicely


• hanging her lil brother's socks/booties to dry. She will hang the papa's underwear if I am doing our laundry instead :-)


• wiping the floor herself if she dropped food on the floor


• rocking the lil brother to sleep if he's crying and we're busy


• entertaining the lil brother if he wants to play but we're busy


• when I am complaining that I have so much housework to do and don't have time to play with her, she will offer to help me (she will say it in a pitiful voice like she's pitying me :-))

Now I understand why some people said it is nice to have an older girl as they will be more willing to help around the house (when they are not in their devil mode). Maybe boys will too, I do not know for sure as I do not have an older boy to compare :-)

Now to the ugly side of her. Of late, my minnie maid also developed the habit of biting her nails (she bit for a while when she was 2 ish but has stopped for a pretty long time) and also the straws of her water bottle. She is using one of those Bros bottle with straw and I think I have changed her straws like 4 or 5 times in the last month since she started developing this habit. She will take her own sweet time to bite the straw bit by bit until they get so short that it will be difficult for her to suck. I've sat down and talked with her, threatened and even beat her hands (started with 1x on day 1, 2x on day 2 and I stopped at 5x on day 5)but of no use. I didn't catch her doing it at home and the babysitter said she didn't do it at her place either so I think she picked up all these and actually doing it in school. She told me one day that one of her friend (I forgot the name she mentioned) bit her straw too.

I finally told the headmistress and requested for her help as well as the teacher's to monitor this and to warn her if they catch her doing it in school. I hope it will stop soon as they ran out of straws at the stores and she's currently using her last one. I don't want to waste money buying more bottles as she already has 2 similar ones at home now. The funny part about her is if you ask her whether she bit her straws (knowing that I will beat her if she did), she will still admit and when I ask her to lift up her hand, she will obliged with very little resistance.... you say la!

see the tip! this is just the beginning

Apart from the biting habits, she's also very clumsy or I would think that she's too hasty. She will constantly trip and fall or ran too fast and fall and will often bang into things. She has so many bruises/blue blacks on both her legs that I have eventually lost count.

Random photos of my precious gems

GONG XI FA CAI

We would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone GONG XI FA CAI...

Note: this card is Hayley's very first art project from school. I would like to think that she contributed in making it but she kept telling "no wor mummy, teacher made this".. sigh... why

does she have to be so honest ah?