Then... we started hearing comments such as these.....
- aiyah, why c-sec, just think positive and surely you can go for natural one... last time people where got options.. die die also natural also can
- natural is good, it's a different experience, very memorable, unlike c-sec.. try it and you will know what I mean
- my friend's first child also c-sec and then second one natural and she said natural is better
- think positive, don't think you can't, think you can and you surely can
- why waste the money, try natural la, then you can save a few thousands
- last time my kid was 8 pounder and I also gave birth like that
To those who commented, I know you meant well, you meant to encourage me to try natural birth but I am not prepared to take the risk.
I am not going for c-sec because it is the easy way out. DEFINITELY NOT. I have never ever thought of that. Who would want to go under the knife if given a choice? You think c-sec doesn't come with pain??? I tried natural with my first child and because she didn't crown, I ended up suffering contractions for a couple of hours and then was told that I wasted my time and effort. Imagine my despair and my disappointment. It was not even beyond my control. My previous doctor could not explain why she didn't crown and until now I still didn't have any answers.
This time, Dr Lee said the same thing. His guess was because of my petite frame but it was just a guess. He said if Bun is about the same size as Hayley, very likely I will have the same problem. He did encourage me to try natural but he also warned me to be prepared to face the same trauma. He also warned that if I ended up using both the labor room and the OT, I will have to pay more. I am just not prepared to face the same trauma or disappointment again and we certainly do not wish to pay more.
Not only it is hard for us to make the decision, it is even harder for me to accept the fact that I am a loser. I feel like a loser because I cannot give birth to my babies naturally like most woman can, like how nature designed it or like how my mother gave birth to us or how my sister gave birth to her 2 girls. I guess I am not normal after all. The guilt alone is enough to kill me so please don't make it any worst.
Anyway, this will be the last time I am explaining my situation and I am not going to mention it anymore - I am bored of saying it over and over and yet people still don't get it. All I am asking for is just some support and understanding but if you can't do that, then please keep those comments to yourself.
Thankfully I have an understanding man by my side. He was there during the first time and he knew what I had to go through and supported my decision all along. I am so glad that I have him by my side to help me overcome my guilt.
11 comments:
Like what others always say, only the mother will know what's best for their child... =)
All the best!!!
Thanks Jas... those comments I wouldn't mind hearing over and over :-)
U remember my post on the super freak aunty behaviour? I'm working on one for super freak momzillas.
Momzillas are those who TELL you what u should do, and condemn everything that you've decided as not the being the right choice becos only the Momzillas are right. They are always right. THEY THINK THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT.
So, just remind yourself "I'm my child's mother, and I do what I think is right."
Just absorb and disperse the hurt from those comments and move on. You'll see your beautiful precious baby in your arms real soon and none of those nasty remarks will mean anything compared to the little human being you're bringing into the world.
I'm behind you all the way!
Haiyah...why people can't keep their opinions to themselves??? Or might I say...keep to their own business???
I mean, its yur baby. Its your body. Its your life. Why ppl even need to comment whether a mum chooses c-sec or natural??? All that is important is that the mother and the baby is healthy and everything is smooth sailing.
So, when the date that you planned? end of the month right???
To me, it's the unconditional loves and effort we put into our beloved child that matters, the methods of how we deliver them it's just something memorable!:)
I can't wait to 'meet' your bun, it's getting excited now! Wohoo! ^-^ Remember to post a bundle of the baby's photos ok?!
Take care and all the best!
Sweetie, my youngest sis was in the same situation as you. She tried natural for the 2nd one and yet it ended in c-sec again and paid for both the charges. For the 3rd child, she decided to go straight for c-sec.
Listen to your heart.
Pei Chyi, thanks for your support..and can't wait to read your blog on Momzillas.. I am sure it will be very funny.. hehe
Leona, 1st Nov lor.. hopefully no change.. hehe.
Alice, will do. Dunno how hectic/tiring life will be then but will try and post photos as soon as I can.
Treasure Memories, that is exactly what I am afraid of. And the worst part is, one of those comments actually came from my mom!
Hahaha...we can high-five! No, don't feel like a loser just becos you had to resort to c-sec. I'm pretty sure during those olden days when there is no such thing as c-sec or any other emergency medical help for delivering mums , some mothers or even the babies died during or right after birth, right? With medical intervention, mother and baby deaths have been reduced drastically. When I had my son, I went for the natural delivery, but my dilation was only 4cm for many hours. At that time, the contraction kept on coming, but the urge to push is not there yet. So from about 8pm to about 3+am the next day, the 4cm dilation remained (with the contraction pain)until finally the doctor decided to do c-sec becos it was already 12hrs since the waterbag burst. When it was still at 4cm, they constantly checked my bottom which was very painful, and even shoved some tools inside my bottom to get a sampling of the blood from the fetus' scalp to gauge the oxygen level - very painful too! Even the gas mask they provided didn't help to ease the pain. But fortunately, they didn't blurt any unkind words/comments. My delivery fees was nearly RM900, done at HUKM. Wishing you a smooth c-sec journey!
P/S: I have linked up with you, hope you will do the same too. :-)
Juan Or's mommy, wah.. your experience sounds scary man. I know another lady (I used to buy breakfast from her every morning) who also recently had her bb at HUKM. First child. She tried natural, suffered for many hours, had an episiotomy, doc tried to vacuum but bb won't come out, end up c-sec. So she got wounds at 2 places and suffered unnecessary pains.. scary.
tell me about it dear i have 3 C SECT - hello ingat kita saja2 tak nak beranak normal ke - ignore them - make yourself happy without their comment k good luckkkkkkkk :)
Thanks Ermayum.. appreciate the support!
Post a Comment