Hayley turns 11 months today

My little baby is finally 11 months old today. In another month she will not be a baby anymore.

Today we handed her a whistle and taught her how to blow into the whistle. She started licking and chewing and eating it for a while and to our surprise, she managed to blow into the whistle and made a little sound. We encouraged her and she managed to blow a few more times and made a few more sounds. We are so proud of her and noticed that she learns very fast (the things that she likes that is). I hope she can blow the candles on her birthday cake when she turns 1 :-)

We are also teaching her how to kiss and hug and so far she isn't doing it yet. Deep down we know she knows how to do it but she just don't want to do it cause everytime when I ask her to kiss me, she will turn her head away. This girl is so stubborn :-(

Do you feel the same way like I do?

I just have to blog about this. My best friend and her hubby recently returned from a trip to Vietnam. She is currently 5 months pregnant with their first child. They took a lot of very nice photos with great sceneries and photos showing day to day lives of the locals and lots of photos of Vietnam toddlers and kids. My best friend's hubby, I'm going to call him D posted the photos on Facebook and one particular photo caught my attention. This is the one:

When I saw this photo I immediately felt very sad. I posted a comment on the photo which said something like this "love the photos but it makes me feel very sad to see little kids being ill treated, dirty and looks like they were not cared for properly. This is the reason why I cannot visit 3rd world countries as I will definitely cry if I see this in person. You will understand how I feel when you finally become parents', well not in the exact same words but something to that effect.

D disagreed with me and replied to my comment asking me "why cry? these kids are happy. This is how they grow up, this is their lives. Although they are dirty, they are very healthy and hardly sick. Their immune system is very good unlike city kids. You shouldn't feel that way about them" again not the exact words but something to that effect.

I guess they won't understand since they are not parents yet. To me, although the kids are laughing or appear to be happy in the photos, you can't help but realise that they are growing up in such poor conditions. Although this is their lives and this is how they live, they are still kids. They take what they were given, they eat what they were fed with. My point is kids are kids. They don't know how to compare, they are not choosy and they have not seen the world. As a parent from this part of the world, I guess we could call ourselves lucky. Lucky to have homes, lucky to have a clean place to live in, to have good healthy food and to have clean water to drink. We can't help ourselves but to compare how lucky we are over here. I felt pity for them and sad at the same time. I am sure I will cry if I see it with my own 2 eyes. When Hayley had a little scratch on her face, my heart ached until the scratch disappears. I couldn't imagine what I would feel if I see my baby covered in black dirt, putting her dirty fingers in her mouth and not wearing any pants! I don't think I can handle that. Maybe the people in Vietnam cannot afford to look after their kids due to the hardship but my point here is, the photo makes me sad and I don't like to go holidays in places that will make me sad! Maybe some people will say that I am being silly and I will miss going to some of the most beautiful places in the world if I have that kind of a perception. But I can't help it.

Do other mothers out there feel the same way as I do or I am over emotional?

D ended the email saying that when he sees things like this, it makes him love his baby even more. I told him that he doesn't need to go see things like this to love the baby even more. He will unconditionally love the baby the moment she is born - its a she :-). And he would even give his life to her. That is how powerful it is. I guess he would only understand when the day finally arrives.

I love to walk... tip toe tip toe

In the last couple of weeks I have fallen in love with walking. I love to walk. I love to hold mummy's or papa's hands and walk all over the house. In fact I love walking more than crawling now. But I am still afraid to walk by myself. I can't walk by myself as I am still not walking steadily. Papa love to test me by making me stand against the wall without any support. I will stand there for a couple of minutes and then I will cry for help. I know papa wants me to try and walk on my own even if its just a step or 2 but I am scared. Maybe I will walk when I am ready but definitely now is not the moment.

And when I walk I love to tip-toe. It makes me feel taller and mummy or papa won't need to bend their backs to walk with me. They always complaint about backache so I learn to tip toe to make the walking experience more comfortable for them ~ LOL.

Oh btw, I can now climb up the stairs (all the way up) but I still don't know how to climb down yet.. Mummy doesn't like me to climb up the stairs. She would scold or beat me everytime I go near the stairs :-(

I cry with you

Did you see the photo on the front page of The Star today?

I couldn't help but cried when I saw the photo and read the description about the 3 little Palestinian babies that got killed. They were innocent little babies! My heart goes out to the parents and may the 3 little ones rest in peace.

Ever since I became a mom, I find myself more emotional especially when I read news that concerns babies or little kids. Is it as if I can relate to the parents, I can understand their feelings and I can imagine myself being in their shoes. Words just can't describe how I feel.

Before I became a mom, I do feel very sad when I read horrible news about babies or kids but the feeling is so different now - my heart cringed and it hurts.

I can remember very clearly 2 other stories that made me cry on the spot:

1. The one about the 3 months old baby who survived the Sichuan earthquake where the mother shielded her and continued to breatfeed her until she passed away. She even left a message on the mobile phone for her baby. Hayley was also 3 months at that time, same age as the baby and I was breastfeeding too. I was devastated. I cried uncontrollably. I knew if I were in her shoes, I would do just the same. As I was typing this, you won't believe that I actually have tears in my eyes.

2. A story I saw on Oprah about a mother who had to make the ultimate decision to save her baby's life by amputating both his legs. The baby's legs were amputated below the knee when he was 1.5 months old and she worried for his future. Thankfully, the boy who is now 10 years old is actively running and doing sports using prosthetics :-)

Both the stories above leave a deep mark within me. There are many others but these 2 always reminded me to love Hayley unconditionally everyday and be thankful that she is healthy, happy and is always with me.

Little brat

Guess what Hayley did today?

I placed her on the high chair to watch her favourite CD and gave her a sippy cup to drink or play with to keep her occupied (Nuby sippy cup). After playing and drinking from it for a while she threw/drop the cup onto the floor. This is not the first time she actually threw/drop the cup onto the floor but today I decided to teach her that this is wrong.

I picked up the cup and put it on the tray and hit her hand once (the hand that threw/drop the cup). I looked at her and repeatedly telling her that she cannot throw the cup onto the floor. She immediately made the sad face knowing that I am scolding and beating her. Then she picked up the cup again, with me watching, threw it on the floor again. She did it so spontaneously that it horrifies me.

Oh my God! Who taught her all these? Where did she learn it from? Is that a sign that she will be a rebellious child in the future?

I also read somewhere on some baby sites that all babies when they reach a certain age loves to throw things and make us pick up after them. I hope its the latter.

Anyway, I certainly do not want her to have such a character when she grow up and I will try my very best to teach her and make her a better person.

Happy New Year 2009

This is my very first new year being a mom. Last year hubby and I went out to celebrate but this year he will continue to go out with his clients while I am going to stay at home to accompany a sleeping Hayley :-(. In the previous years, I will normally be busy performing at various New Year eve shows :-). Christmas eve and New Year eve are the best days for a dancer. Some can earn up to RM1k in just 1 night. As dancing is my passion (I don't dance for a living), I am just glad that I was able to earn an extra income doing what I love. Those were the fun and wild old days...

Now, at this very moment, I am at home updating my blog, hubby is preparing to go out, Hayley is sound asleep and my dancing buddies are all out there shaking their booties and earning a thousand buck :-). I guess I will hit the sack soon and will not be waiting for the clock to strike 12.

If you ask me today if I miss dancing, my answer would be a BIG YES. If you ask me if I regretted being a mom, my answer would be a BIG NO :-).

Anyway, papa Hayley and me would like to wish everyone here a HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2009 brings you good health (most important), good luck, plenty of wealth and happiness...

My first swim

Cadence ceh ceh is behind me

Mummy bought me a new swim wear from Triumph at RM59.90. The smallest size they have is 'S' which mummy said it meant for those 1 year old and above. As I am only 10 months old and I have a smaller built, mummy will have to sew the swim wear for me.

Mummy and aunty Alice (mummy's sister aka Caitlin's mom) brought me to the club on Christmas day and I experienced swimming for the very first time. I was scared at first, sitting at one spot and didn't dare to move about. But after about 10 mins of warming up, I enjoyed it very much. Mummy put me in a float and I kicked my legs while holding tight to the float. I was having a lot of fun. As the weather was rather gloomy, mummy only allowed me to play in the water for about 15 mins. I sneezed a couple of times and mummy being the paranoid person she is, quickly bundled me up and changed me.

I would love to go swimming more often in the future.